Despite what my daughter says about the weekend, I see Sunday as the first day of the week.
Today kicks off the beginning of a new week. Tomorrow night is the beginning of the Jewish New Year. Last week for many was the beginning of the new school year. Also, last week’s devastating destruction caused by hurricane, tornadoes, and flash floods marks what many are calling the new normal.
The new normal has come to mean many unpleasantries. There’s the need for face masks, the mandates for face masks, and the protest against face masks. That pattern holds for vaccinations, environmental protection, gun safety, gender equality, racial equality, and basic human rights and safety. This is likely an incomplete list. Widespread systemic dysfunctions and arguments about how, or even if, to address them at all.
Jeez Louise!
Small wonder most of us feel frustrated, depressed, and worse. (Worse being harmful to self or others.)
The problems are bad enough, on top are the horrific and frightening quarrels.
When I hear the words, the new normal, my mind goes to all of the above.
Last week we sheltered for about an hour in our basement because tornado warnings on our phones advised us to do so. It was the second time in two weeks. We have lived in New Jersey for over 23 years and this is the first time, I know about, that we’ve been instructed to do so in our area. That’s because New Jersey typically only has two tornadoes a year. Many years have zero. Our county has had one, back in 1973. Thankfully, it’s still the only one in our county. New Jersey, though, has had 11 tornadoes so far this year! It’s the new normal.
Last week was certainly different. New York City issued its first flash flood warning; ever! And it was flooding, the likes of which we have not seen in our lifetimes. All this weather is a direct result of the recent Hurricane Ida coming up north. The tropical remnants met a cold front and so it was. We were warned. Being warned and having a basis of comparison are different. This is being called a 1 in 500 years kind of storm. Except now we are also being told this is the new normal.
I grew up in the Midwest, so I know tornadoes. I have seen a couple. I have heard the train-like roaring sound they make. They usually came in the Springtime. I remember being at home with my mother and two little brothers. There were no tornado sirens yet. We simply saw the bad weather, the hail, and the thunderstorm. We saw the tornado funnel off in the distance and headed quickly down to the basement. We heard the loud roaring outside. I was 12 years old and I wasn’t scared. That’s different from being brave. I simply wasn’t afraid. When it was all over, we had lost the windows up in the attic. Some tree limbs had broken. Our neighbor, a quarter mile away, lived in a mobile home. The wind had turned her home on its side. Somehow she had protected herself. Did she crouch in the bathtub? I don’t know. She was an older lady and she was fine.
A year or so later, we lived in a different house and I had become friendly with a neighborhood girl, the same age as me. It was Springtime and we were already thinking about sunbathing and getting a head start on our suntans. Her father invited us to go lake fishing with him. Perfect. It was early in the season and we could sunbathe uninterrupted by his parked pickup truck. Except, the sun never came out. We were cold actually and not appropriately dressed for the cold and rainy day. We spent most of the time sitting in the truck listening to her transistor radio. We wanted to hear music, but her father often made us turn to the station that broadcasted more weather reports. It was getting bad out, so we came home early.
It was a good thing too. Our timing for us anyway, was perfect. We were close to home when we started seeing the funnel in the distance. A tornado is going to do what it is going to do. It will touch down or maybe veer, who knows. Her father decided to keep driving and get us home as quickly as he could. The funnel stayed in the distance. We lived about a mile from each other. He dropped me off first and sped home.
Again, it was my mom and two younger brothers. From inside, I looked out the living room picture window and saw the funnel continue to follow my friend in the direction to her house. It was still far away, but going in the same direction. It was time for us to pile into the bathtub together. This house didn’t have a basement. We had no damage with this tornado.
Days later, on the way to school, we rode on the school bus and saw where the funnel had touched down. It was not far from my old house. We saw large trees uprooted and power lines down. There was one house completely splintered apart with debris scattered across the fields. That was all done by the funnel we had outrun. My friend’s dad had the wheel, and my mom had taken charge at home, it hadn’t occurred to me to be frightened.
Years later, when I was the mom in the Spring of 1974, my husband and I had recently moved back to Ohio. We were thinking we would settle there and make our home around our family. We were buying furniture and putting down roots. We talked about getting another dog. There was an ad in the newspaper about a litter of German Shepherd puppies. They were in a town about 15 miles away. We had called and arranged to go see them in the evening after my husband came home from work. Except, we didn’t. It was storming terribly. Hail was unbelievably large. The size of tennis balls in most places and reportedly the size of grapefruits in others. The cars were being pelted and dented. My husband had driven home in it and was distraught over the damage. We had recently bought our first new car. He had taken refuge as long as he could under an overpass, but still the car looked a mess. Later, the summer heat and sun would pop the dents out, but we didn’t know that.
We decided to see the puppy on another day. We didn’t have a phone and felt badly that the people would be expecting us. They would have bigger concerns.
For us, it was a rainy night at home. Business as usual; dinner, put the baby to bed, get ready for work tomorrow. We found out the next day that one of the worst tornado breakouts in U.S. history had struck the town where the puppy lived. Xenia, Ohio for the most part was leveled to the ground. A level F5 tornado had struck. Half the city was gone.
I know as much as I want to know about tornadoes.
Similar to the morning-after back then, we have the aftermath now. New Jersey has the distinction of being the state suffering the most deaths as a result of Hurricane Ida. We didn’t know any of them personally. We do know people who had harrowing experiences driving home in the storm that evening. They were emotionally shaken by it and grateful for their outcome. We know people who had to be evacuated from their homes and who are now facing displacement and material losses.
We know people.
Maybe that is what defines the new normal best. Before, in my mind anyway, the crises were more spread out in time and space and gave one the feeling of distance and manageability. Now it seems catastrophes are stacked up and continually happening to people we know or to ourselves. We are crowded now with people, information, plights, and despair. The new normal.
Another phrase we hear is we are all in the same boat. No. Some are drowning, some are in canoes, and some are in yachts. That’s getting close though. Another one we hear often is we are in this (be it the sea or the storm) together. That’s getting closer.
Together defines proximity to others. Spoiler alert, there is truly no other. There is only Oneness. Therein lies our answers and remedies as well as the rub. One creation. One world. One planet. There is no planet B.
Being in Oneness is more apparent to us now. There is less space. There is less distance. There is less chance of ignoring the issues. It is our problem, our dysfunction, our new normal. It is in our faces and all the time now.
The new normal.
That is also liberating and encouraging to me. It’s the Gandhi quote , “Be the change you want to be.” kind of encouragement. The new normal is changing how we look at things, so the things we look at can change.
The novelty of New Years and new weeks can wear off quickly and we get distracted or busy with the patterns and habits of old. That’s typical. We can always choose to rise to the challenge of now. As long as we are alive, our potential beckons us to transform it into our actual resources. Every day is new, every moment is too. Why wait?
This morning it occurred to me how much power I have in every moment to define my new normal for the better. Of course, the Universe sent me an opportunity to test that. When I stepped into the shower it was soon realized the bathtub drain was clogged. My typical response was aggravation and my plan was to accept it, take my shower and then get dressed and unclog it. Then I asked myself what would a person who is defining a new normal do?
I turned off the shower. I put my clothes back on. I calmly assembled all the equipment necessary to clear the drain. It was oddly satisfying. It took minutes. Instead of accepting the problem, and delaying the solution, I put the solution first. Oh, look! The problem is gone. I was going to shower anyway. Now, my shower was in a tub without standing water. Where can that be done again? Even better, how can I behave in a way that prevents a problem? for me, for others? Where can I do this in my home, or my community?
Where can I stop accepting problems and delaying the solutions?
Where can I put the solution first?
Now, it’s a fun game to me. What other opportunities will come my way to define a new normal for the good? I want to be ready. So I’m watchful.
What would a person who is defining a new normal do today, or in any given situation?
We are here anyway. We are already a part of the problem, the new normal.
We can desire to be one with the solution.
We can choose to be one with the solution and make the differences, large or small, for the good.
Life is starting to look better already.
May we go from strength to strength.
The new normal.
May it be sweet.
(The Beginning)
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