It’s been a bit of a challenging summer for me. Events and procedures piled up. I’ve proudly coped and navigated, and yet they have taken a toll on me. The end of May: something. The middle of June: something. The first of July: something. The middle of July: dental work. The double implant on the… Continue reading
Dear Mom,
Dear Mom, If only I could go back in time. I would sense you more. I would see you.See your struggles. See your accomplishments. See your kindnesses. See our similarities. I would hear you.Hear your truths. Hear your logic. Hear your love; spoken and unspoken. Hear your wisdom.I would listen to your childhood memories and… Continue reading
Summer Breeze
It’s been catch as catch can with time on the Catio this summer, for one reason or another. Today is a seize the moment kind of day and it has been divine. The temperature outside is in the 80s with low humidity and an awesome summer breeze. Sitting out here alone, because the cats have… Continue reading
Forever Forty-Six
Today on 27 October 2022, Dani, my daughter would have been 50 years old. Instead, she is forever forty-six. I am feeling at peace with this day. I decided shortly after her death to choose peace. I had written a declaration that began with: I’ve decided to be at peace. Even though existence might be… Continue reading
My Two Cents
I started school in the fall of 1961. Every day, I was given two cents for milk money. As I stood at the end of the driveway waiting for the bus to come, I would dig the pennies out of my change purse. I played with them, and I studied them. Often, they were brand… Continue reading
Bring Out the Old Pictures
What I like best about Father’s Day is it was overlooked in my family. We downplayed most occasions and holidays. Thank goodness, one less thing to haunt me. I can choose to reminisce as I please. This year, I am choosing to bring out the old pictures. Here’s one of Dad’s favorite pictures of himself.… Continue reading
Happy Mother’s Day, 2022
Sometimes we have events or days or periods in our lives when we just know it’s a demarcation or a declaration that says, “life is different now.” This year, Mother’s Day with its we’re-only-doing-an-overdue-project-around-the-house-instead-of-celebrating-and-that’s-okay theme, ended up being one of my most (maybe THE most) special of all Mother’s Day. My daughter is creative and… Continue reading
Dreaming
It was a pleasant enough dream. I was a teenager living with Dad and Mom and we were getting used to our new home. Mom and I were upstairs in her bedroom talking. I heard Dad come in the front door and leaned over the railing and saw him. I ran down the stairs and… Continue reading
Anyway
One of my favorite topics is success. I enjoy succeeding and I enjoy it when others succeed. I enjoy watching people try to succeed. I cry at live performances, even when I don’t know them. I appreciate their effort. It touches my soul. The other day, I realized someone who had more resources than me… Continue reading
The Miracle of Nature: Zos Chanukah, This is Chanukah; This is Chanukah, This is My Daughter
part 1: Zos Chanukah, This is Chanukah The holiday of Chanukah is about rededicating the altar in the Second Temple of Jerusalem after it had been defiled by the Greeks, in 139 B.C.E.. “Zos Chanukah, This is Chanukah”. The phrase is meant to connect to a verse in the Torah referring to the dedication of… Continue reading
Shinrin-Yoku, [forest bathing]
I’ve had a lifelong loving relationship with nature and animals. My first best friend was my neighbor’s Dalmatian dog, Smokey. I grew up in rural America on farms. Earth and trees were everything to me. I made pretend birthday cakes out of mud. I coated my five year old self in mud for the fun… Continue reading
They were there for me.
How do I write about a lifelong love? How do I put into words all I feel about them? Our history. Our relationship. Those I have known, touched, loved. Those I know of and yet to see. Those I see regularly and commune with and admire and strive to get the perfect picture that captures… Continue reading
One Form or Another
Today would have been my daughter Dani’s birthday, except no, she’s dead and gone. Except she’s also here the way the spiritual part of us is eternal. What I loved most about her was her sense of humor and the way we laughed together. The side splitting, my stomach hurts, I can’t breathe, kind of… Continue reading
I Decided
I’ve been blessed to have people in my life who despite odds against them and horrific obstacles, their triumphs over their adversities are inspirational to others. Years ago I noticed they all said the same two words as they shared how they succeeded against a myriad of struggles. The kind of struggles that keeps too… Continue reading
Happy Double Ten Day
We used to call or text one another, “Happy Double Ten Day”. It was our little shtick between us. She was born in Taipei, Taiwan while her father was stationed there with the U.S. Army. When she was a little girl she had difficulty understanding genetics. “Why don’t I look Chinese? I was born in… Continue reading
Words on the Elevator Doors
It’s been over two years since I parked in that garage, walked those halls, and rode in that elevator. Today was for my own early morning and routine medical tests. We never came this early two years ago. Today I had my choice of parking spots. Sometimes, back then the garage would be so filled… Continue reading
Family, Friends, and Foes
Coming off a three-week-long Jewish holiday season that crescendoed with the idea of unity, love, and Oneness and segues into beginning again, has given me pause. I do so love a happy and purposeful beginning. If we are looking at cycles of life, then beginnings also remind us of endings that brought us around. Thoughts… Continue reading
Open Book
My life is an open book. It is a used book, With stained and torn pages, With some interesting and page-turner chapters, With as much content between the lines as on, And an oft misinterpreted cover. The fun, scary, difficult, Happy, liberating, fulfilling, And much appreciated part, Is now. Now is when I endeavor to… Continue reading